To retreat, pull back, perhaps to a place of safety. We all feel the need for it sometimes, especially when life feels too intense or things seem to be moving too fast. We might feel like, despite working harder than ever, it’s impossible to catch up. Or that while we want to focus and do something well, we get pulled in a hundred different directions and are unable to get things done or be proud of our accomplishments.
Neuropsychologists call this “residual attention” – it’s a common phenomenon where we get distracted and part of our attention remains with previous activity, which slows us down and causes us to make more mistakes. This happens many times a day in our modern life; In fact it happens every time we look at our phones in the middle of work. This is then compounded by tasks with many moving parts and people to answer to, responsibilities to children, other family members, and concern about what is going on in the wider world.
To deal with the chaos, the overwhelm and the burnout and frustration that we often feel like we need to take a break or rewind, recover and start again with a clear head, I strongly believe that regular retreats are what we need to do.
I also believe that we should plan wellness retreats in advance. Book it, hand over our responsibilities and let everyone know they won’t be getting to us for a week before We feel that things are more. Our modern lives are often too demanding for our brains and nervous systems to handle and a planned retreat gives us the rest and rejuvenation we so desperately desire.
How is a retreat different from a vacation?
Retreats have become a major business model around the world. And while some pack tours suggest that you only need to focus on one healthy activity per hour, some simply suggest spending time doing nothing. There are sleep retreats, yoga retreats and retreats where some people pay to simply do nothing for a week.
As an expert on wellness trends, I’m suspicious of any brand that tries to sell our basic human needs back to us, especially as luxury goods. This is a problem for many reasons and rest is not something we should take for granted. However, it is clear that we need the concept of a retreat, because we have forgotten how to take a break and both our concentration levels and mental health are affected as a result.
Cognitive psychologist and author focus Mark Teichler explains: “Since the 1980s, the number of stimuli we are bombarded with every day has multiplied, to the equivalent of 174 newspapers’ worth of information a day. We really can’t blame ourselves for struggling to focus.”
He adds: “On the one hand, all these stimuli make life interesting. We challenge ourselves to push ourselves to the limit, it gives us a kind of rush. But on the other hand, when was the last time you could really dive in? Read a book without distraction? Really manage to ignore your inbox? Working through distractions consumes a lot of energy and, at worst, can leave you burned out.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way. You probably chose your job because you wanted to make an impact and make a difference, not to barely survive while constantly playing catch-up. Constant work pressure isn’t good. It’s not uncommon for one in seven people to experience burnout.”
Read more: Here’s how to recognize and treat burnout symptoms, according to wellness experts
Taking a week off may seem like any regular vacation, but a vacation is not a vacation. On our vacations we still answer emails. We scroll through the doom on our phones and worry about what’s going on back home. We cannot let go of what is happening in our lives or the thought processes that govern our anxiety levels.
At retreats, the rules are different. You don’t have to go out and you don’t have to spend a lot of money, all you have to do is return. It requires planning and intention. In order to exit successfully we have to arrange conditions such as work coverage, childcare and the expectation of other people to contact us, but after that we can reap the rewards.
A week-long retreat can be one of the most transformative experiences of your life, if you fully commit to it. This is something I believe everyone should do at least once a year. It doesn’t have to be a luxury experience, but to do it effectively you have to have a place that isn’t home.
A break for the brain
I plan my annual intentional retreat only after a time that I know will be busy for me. I took a week off work and planned a trip to Mallorca with a retreat company called Heald Retreats. Its mission is to help people join the “joy of life”. For me, Hold offered the perfect conditions: a comfortable home a short plane ride away, pleasant weather, healthy food, daily yoga and sessions focused on self-esteem, purpose, healing and goal setting.
It may not be the perfect cocktail for you but the beauty of retreats is that there are many to choose from. You might choose seven days of pilates and swimming in the ocean, you might prefer silence and sharing rings or your vibe might just enjoy a week away in a phone-free cabin.
Seven days is enough for your brain to undergo what experts call a “dopamine detox.” A gentle reset or mental clearing that improves focus and allows for the reduction of anxiety and stress.
“Like a muscle, the brain has limits. It doesn’t get stronger from endless stress. True growth comes from the right balance of challenge and recovery,” says neurologist Joanna Asariongsi.
Nervous fatigue is more than just feeling tired. Brain imaging studies show that during prolonged mental work, the networks responsible for attention and decision-making slow down, while areas that promote relaxation and reward-seeking efforts help explain why mental fatigue often comes with a strong desire for quick rewards, such as sugary foods, resulting in slow thinking. Lots of mistakes, depression and mental fog.
“But rest allows these stressful circuits to adjust and function more smoothly over time. And taking breaks from taxing activity doesn’t prevent learning. In fact, breaks are critical to effective learning.”
Read more: I visited a technology-free retreat with my partner to see if the no-screen rule could bring us closer together.
That’s why on a retreat, unlike a vacation, minimal tech or no social media should be your goal. A retreat doesn’t really work if you don’t completely remove yourself from the life you love and that extends to your online life as well.
At my annual retreat, I meditated, did journaling exercises, danced, hiked, and spent time getting to know other people who told me about their fears, dreams, and goals for the coming year. I spent very little time on my phone, using it to take pictures and largely leaving it in my room.
The result of my planned rest time was remarkable. I had more energy, my mood improved and I came in with an optimistic attitude about the year ahead. I felt very clear about what makes me happy, what I want to achieve and what I don’t care about. It’s a deep, intentional relaxation and a profound withdrawal from your everyday life.
This is not to say that my life is terrible at all, but it feels intense at times and I often feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of my job and my personal life and sometimes find all the information I see online every day confusing and sometimes frustrating.
“Every second, eleven million bits enter our minds. We’re like giant antennae. Fortunately, all of these stimuli enter our subconscious minds first,” explains Teichler. “If we knew about every single stimulus our senses saw, we’d go crazy in a second.”
What feels good about the Intentional Retreat is that it shuts out all the noise. Your brain feels like it has been washed, dried and compressed and you feel more flexible, positive and capable than ever before. In my opinion, we should all have this goal for ourselves at least once a year to avoid burnout, anxiety and depression and it doesn’t mean taking long trips or spending a lot of money.
If you’re planning to book a vacation this year, give your brain a boost and maybe consider a retreat instead.
Read more: Joe Weeks decided in that moment to become a phone-free dad
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